We try to teach our kids good manners. One thing we teach them to say is “no, thank you”. It’s not a big deal to say “no, thank you” and move on. So, when between childhood and adulthood did people forget how to say “no, thank you”?
We’ve all been there before. Somebody offers you something, it could be anything - an invite to a party, a business proposal, heck even a stick of gum. We usually respond with a “yes”, a “maybe”, some silence, or sometimes a “no, thank you”. Lately I’ve been surprised at how many times I offer something to someone and simply never hear from them again. I realize people don’t have to fall in love with everything I do or offer…but seriously? No response?
A Few Examples
A friend of a friend asked me to help him out with developing a new website for his business. I told him I’d put together a price quote and send him an e-mail. Two weeks went by - no answer. Was my price too high? Did he find someone else? Was he simply not interested anymore? Who knows. I never heard back…
I listed my Dad’s Audi A4 for sale a few weeks ago and received a call from a local girl. She was driving by my office downtown, saw that the car was for sale, gave me a call, and went out for a test drive. She said her dad would be off work in a couple hours and she would pay cash. A few hours went by, no call. I left a voicemail and never heard from her again…
Our Response
I come by instances like these all the time where I get no response so I assume the answer is “no”. It’s not that I’m frustrated with their decision of declining my offer, it’s the method. Sure, we all like to hear a “Yes”, but even a “No”, or better yet, a “No, Thank You” is better than silence. I’m just interested in having closure. If I’m honest with myself, I know I do this too. I either change the subject after a question I don’t want to say no to, or just never answer, hoping they get the gist.
I realize it’s often hard to say “no” but I think we need to get back in the habit of saying “no, thank you” when we simply don’t want something or want to do something. I think people have got into a bad habit of letting the silence say “no” for them and it’s a cop-out.
Of course we can’t always say “yes”, but we do have a choice in how we communicate our response - staying silent isn’t an option.
Saying “No, Thank You” is a courtesy we can’t afford to ignore.
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