Comments on: The Courtesy of “No Thank You”

By: Sammy Nams

Sammy Nams — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 10:41:41 +0000

It seems that modern culture has beaten us into a group of passive, politically correct people. I’m pretty sure I’ve been guilty of this exact thing. Especially when people approach me with advertising proposals. I guess it’s time to start busting out the N O more often. lol First time to your blog but both posts I’ve read have been good enough to compel this lurker into commenting.

By: Promotional Products

Promotional Products — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 16:54:50 +0000

I think people feel like they can be jerks and let you hang, or they are at least apathetic because they have nothing to lose. Not sure how the Audi situation worked out, but I hate turning other people off by saying I already have something in the works. I thought about going to a first person who brings me the money wins, but I have too much respect for people I do business with. Man, does it hurt to lose a contact or a project because of lack of courtesy. Good reminder and great post. Thanks David.

By: fishing organizations

fishing organizations — Sat, 09 Jan 2010 13:45:29 +0000

I am going to say “Thank you!” to you for bringing up this important, but often overlooked subject.

I have found that many of the youth I encounter today are very polite and courteous. It’s the adults who often could use a lesson or two on manners.

By: David Lano

David Lano — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 21:01:06 +0000

@Brian – I couldn’t agree more – well said.

I like how you’re polite to tele-marketers. Just because tele-marketers abuse the permission marketing rule of thumb Seth Godin talks about oh so often, doesn’t mean we have the right to blow them off and not treat them like actual human beings – unless of course they’re computers : )

Nonetheless, you’ve inspired me, and I appreciate your thoughts – thank you.

By: Brian Gomsak

Brian Gomsak — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 04:04:45 +0000

I am glad that it is not just me. I think it goes beyond just a lack of response to estimates, offers of service, and the like. It is a trend toward a lack of responsiveness in general. While social media and networking has created multiple means of communicating, I feel it has also had a negative effect in that it has changed the usual give and take of a dialogue into more of a one way street, which is either gathering info, or sending it out.

Social graces and a general respect for the other person has unfortunately been lost to some degree. I understand that time is precious to everyone these days but think that taking out just one minute to at least write a quick email to respond with that “no thank you” or the simple, “I am not interested” is a more descent and respectful way of saying no than ignoring someone. Then again I am that guy who is actually polite to tele-marketers and even take the time to give them my sound reason for declining their offer.

By: Faraz

Faraz — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 15:51:00 +0000

I so agree with you there, mate.

For sellers this creates an especially awkward situation.. cause if some one shows interest in what I’m selling and then disappears without saying , “I’m sorry but I’m not interested anymore”

Like I would prefer to get that response rather than just saying nothing cause we don’t want to call them back and ask so why havn’t I heard from you.. this just reduces the value of the product we’re selling.

By: Leigh

Leigh — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 12:55:04 +0000

I completely agree. Silence is a cop out. It’s rude, and quite frankly, I think it’s cowardly.

So many of us are scared to be honest with those around us for fear of upsetting or disappointing them, We’re scared of the conflict the no might bring. But like it or not, it’s a part of life. We do need to teach our children that they need to say no when no is necessary. Not only as a courtesy to others, but as a way of standing up for ourselves, what we want and who we are.

By: David Lano

David Lano — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 20:36:13 +0000

@Anita @Wardell – I agree, whoever makes the initial offer has the responsibility to set the tone, but of course it’s not a one way conversation.

@Todd – Oh how it is so true! I find myself doing that WAY too often. (*sigh)

By: Todd Chandler

Todd Chandler — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 11:47:08 +0000

It’s odd how some people are too polite to be polite enough to say, “No thank you.” They’ve taken the rule, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all” too far by not realizing the nicer thing to do is say “No.”

By: Wardell

Wardell — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 11:35:43 +0000

I totally agree, I think Anita has a good idea as well but you may not always want to give people a strict deadline when first making an offer or proposal.